Truth and Lies
by Chloe Alana McKenzie Carter
Summary: A Sherri Polo story tying the characters of Stef and Lena to their main lives and weaving both worlds until they become one filled with truth and lies.
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter ONE**

***a Sherri Polo story***

_***It's the day of the wedding shoot for the episode, "I Do." There is a great deal of scurrying around to make sure everything is just right as this will be the first gay wedding portrayed on a TV show. Everything had to be just right, and excitement could be felt by all. **_

**~Sherri's POV~**

I sit in my trailer as the make-up and dress team pretty me up for this big occasion. I have butterflies in my stomach because this really is a big deal for all of us. We know that this has to be just right, and even though we left rehearsal confident that we were ready, I know that I am still really nervous. On top of everything else, I know I am feeling other things. When we rehearsed last night at the altar, I almost couldn't remember my vows. Standing there, it was as if almost this was real, and they weren't really lines I was saying to Stef but sacred vows only to Teri.

I quickly dismiss these thoughts as fast as they come because I just can't and don't have the time and energy to entertain these thoughts of her. I have to focus on making this beautiful and perfect. When I am ready, I decide to walk out on set and look around. My breath catches in my throat at the transformation before me as the plain stage the night before has been turned into a wedding fantasy as beautiful and radiant as the gown I am wearing. I feel beautiful, and I feel perfect….

Then I see her:

Standing there, talking to a producer, in her snow white dress pants and shimmery top. Her golden hair makes my breath catch in my throat. I am glued to her radiance as my heart starts to pound so loudly I am afraid the sound will be picked up by the microphones being set up all over the set. Her laughter floats across the room like my favorite song. I stand for a while longer, watching her hand movements, her body language, hearing the hum of her voice above the hustle and bustle of the preparations. "_Sherri, get a grip! You're just feeling all mushy because of what today's episode portrays,"_ I give myself a pep talk as I straighten my dress and make my way towards her. She spots me and flashes her famous smile my direction, and I smile in return as the butterflies dance in my stomach again. I stand near her, smell her sweetness, she touches my hand, and I'm really not okay. I think I might faint right here on the spot. I've kept too much hidden for way too long, and it has at long last caught up to me.

**~Teri's POV~**

I've been in my trailer for over an hour now pacing back and forth. I barely slept last night. I knew Sherri and I were growing closer, but how did I let this happen? How did I allow it to get to this point? I guess it started out as a slow burn from our first meeting and being nervous about the show. Then being thrown into an on screen relationship made things a little bit more intense. We had many conversations about Stef and Lena as characters and how we wanted this to be as real as possible. So I opened my heart to her. I allowed myself to be one with my character. I allowed myself to think of her as my partner.. soon to be wife. Now here I am, pacing in my trailer because soon I have to go out there and film the wedding scene and act like it's just Stef and Lena.

I push away my thoughts. I can't think of this right now. I need to focus. I head to the set and look at the amazing job the crew has done on the backyard. It's beautiful! I stand and talk to a few people trying my best to let go of my feelings at least for now so I can focus on this scene.

That's when I see her:

Across the yard I see her and my breath catches in my throat. I physically gasp and Peter leans over and whispers in my ear, "Go get her, mama tiger!" She walks up to me, and I'm speechless. I haven't seen her in the wedding dress yet. It had been a joke around set that she had wanted to keep it a secret from me till the day we shot the wedding scene. I had been begging her for weeks to show me pictures. I even tried to bribe our wardrobe director. But everyone was in on it. They knew it would be a special moment, and it was.

Now, here we stand... in the backyard set and everyone's eyes are on us. But I see only her in this moment. Everyone else fades away. I smile softly at her and remind myself to chill out. I reach out and take her hand and softly whisper in a shaky voice. "You are so.. amazingly beautiful.." In that moment, I know this pretending stops today. This slow burn that has built for 6 months has turned into a raging fire, and it threatens to burn me if not controlled.

**~Sherri's POV~**

As Teri takes my hand and tells me I'm beautiful, I feel breathless but can't allow it to show in this moment. Instead I smile and ask, "So, are you ready for this awesome day of shooting?" I motion with my hand, "Isn't this just beautiful?" talking about the decor for the occasion. We make small-talk as we walk towards the first stage for the beginning of the film day.

I'm nervous as we take our places, but I put my game face on as the director yells, "Action!" I lose my resolve when Teri/Stef enters the room for her part trying to explain why she didn't tell me she was going back to work...at this moment, I fumble trying to remember my next lines but just can't and, "Cut!" is yelled as I nervously laugh. "I'm so sorry, folks! Nerves, I guess!" They say to take it from the top, and I get a grip as we redo our scene. When we get to the part where I take you to the bathroom and undo your silky blouse, I feel emotional as I reach up and touch where the bullet hole would be...if this was real, I don't know what I would be feeling but I try to imagine as I quote my lines perfectly. I see that you are becoming emotional as well, but I try not to dwell on it as we need to still get through the wedding ceremony.

The scene ends perfectly as we take a few minutes before the ceremony. I decide to go for a small walk around the set to clear my mind. Maybe I'm getting all caught up in the festivities, but all I want to do right now is take you to a side room and tell you what I'm feeling inside. I quietly lecture myself that this is not the time nor the place, and quite possibly I will feel differently in the morning. Yet, I can't seem to shake this feeling…

I go out to take my place on stage for the wedding, but I'm just going to go for it: find you and tell you...that way, it's out in the open and we don't have to feel weird anymore. But as soon as I find you and tell you I want to talk, the whole camera crew comes in as well as the rest of the cast, and I know it won't happen. No matter; maybe it's just better this way.

**~Teri's POV~**

The whole day has been insane. My emotions are up and down. One minute I will be laughing with the cast and crew the next minute, I'm looking at you wishing I could just tell you the truth. Right now I'm sitting in the backyard area. We just finished a scene in the bathroom where you touch my bullet wound. It reminded me of the day we shot my hospital scene, and I had blood all over me. I had never seen you cry before that day. You told me you hated seeing me like that. You knew it was fake, but it was still hard to see it. I held you in your trailer, and you cried then I wiped your tears away and made a joke about being emotional and got up and never mentioned it again. But that moment told me so much.

I feel a hand on my back and I look up and it's you. You smile down at me and sit on the edge of the stage with me. "Can we.. Talk for a moment?" you ask. I nod and take your hand and intertwine our fingers. For some reason today I need contact with you. I can tell you're nervous. You open your mouth several times to speak but nothing comes out. You don't make eye contact as you just stare at our hands. I run my thumb over your hand as my heart races. Are you about to say what I hope? Or maybe I'm just wishfully thinking. I look in your eyes. "Love, just.." I get cut off by a bunch of cast and crew coming in, and our little moment is ruined. You clear your throat and get up mumbling something about seeing me later.

I fight the urge to run after you but have a feeling maybe you weren't ready to talk if you were having such a hard time. I'm enjoying this wedding episode, but at the same time it's made both of us emotional and I'm ready for the wrap party tonight. I'm ready to have a drink with you and relax and maybe then we can talk. You always do get chatty after a couple glasses of wine. This thought makes me smile, but once again my thoughts are interrupted by the director telling us to start getting ready for the wedding scene.


	2. Chapter 2

*CHAPTER TWO*

~Sherri's POV~

"Stefanie Foster, you are a piece of work but you are my piece of work, I accept you. Every single thing that makes you who you are, from now until the end of time, I love you." I recite these sacred vows written from Lena to her Stef here at the wedding altar for our episode, "I Do," as I grip her hands and mine tremble just a tad. Yet as I recite these lines for this scene, I feel as if they are really for her...Teri. The ruling had come down from the supreme court just today right before we started to film, and the excitement can be felt throughout the air. We are all emotional, but I feel like I'm the most emotional at this point. Every emotion I am feeling is amplified in this moment standing here with her. I have engulfed myself in this role to the point where I feel as if this is really just me. The writers have written their stories from their own personal lives, but they have managed to capture our own personalities through trial and error as we tell them how we would react or how we would handle situations.

She gets to her part, "You're the person I've been waiting for my whole life and I am so proud to be standing up here, in front of our friends and family, to make sure they know just how lucky I feel to have found you and just how much I love you." I feel choked up as tears come to her eyes and she squeezes my hand. I wonder to myself if she is feeling like I am currently feeling in this moment. My heart races as we exchange rings, have a moment of laughter as Jude pretends he's lost one ring, then we are told to kiss. I can feel the intensity of this moment as she brushes my face with one hand and our lips meet. We are lost in time, frozen, just the two of us, no one else is around as I feel her lips part slightly then close knowing that we can't deepen this kiss anymore than we already have. It's killing me inside. What is going on with me? She must be feeling the same. My heart feels it as does my body. I let out a huge breath as the director yells, "CUT!" and we relax and prepare for the cast party.

~Teri's POV ~

I stand here holding her hands looking into her eyes as we say these words. I remind myself that's what they are... just words. Written by someone else, put in a script for us to act out. Is that what we are doing? Acting? This is not an act for me. The words coming out of my mouth, the tears falling down my cheek, the feeling in my chest. This is definitely not an act. I look in her eyes as we exchange the rings and I see that glimmer. That glimmer that I've only seen a few times and only in our most intimate moments. That glimmer is normally gone as quick as it comes. We get interrupted or one of us blinks and the bubble pops and the glimmer goes away. But as my hand brushes her cheek and I lean in to kiss her I see that glimmer. I smile softly as our lips meet and I feel her squeeze me tighter. I get lost in this moment. I forget about the scene or the crew and just focus on us. My lips part, and for a split second I think about deepening the kiss. But the cast and crew's clapping pulls me out of this moment, and I pull back as the director yells, "CUT!" And just like so many times before the bubble pops and the glimmer is gone. I wipe my eyes and squeeze her hand then head to my holding room off to the side of the set.

Once in the room I lean against the door and take a deep breath. I just need a moment to breathe. I have a few minutes to compose myself before the wrap party starts. I have so many thoughts swirling around in my head. My body is aching to be close to her again. I reach up and touch my lips and smile as I think of her pulling me tighter to her when we kissed. I close my eyes and I can feel her again. I let my mind wander to the last wrap party we had. After shooting the pilot. She drank about 5 glasses of wine and was toasted. We hardlly knew each other back then, but God, did she flirt that night. That night was really an ice breaker for us. I still remember her hand on my thigh under the table at the restaurant. Every time I'd smile and look over at her, she would burst into giggles. I should have known then I was in love with her. That's when I hear a soft knock on the door. I open my eyes when I hear your sweet voice. "Love, its me... Let me in". I open the door and blush as I see her standing in front of me smiling. I smile back, "Well, hello there, Mrs. Adams Foster!"

~Sherri's POV~

I watch her as she walks away, leaving me here on the set feeling empty already. What is wrong with me? I've asked myself this question more than once over the past year, but it's become more and more frequent these days. My mind won't quiet in regards to her. I fall asleep thinking about her. I wake up, and she's the first person on my mind. I come to work and see her, and my heart stops every single time...the way she looks at me, the way she winks in our own special language, the way she'll laugh and brush her hand over my arm, the way we'll be in a crowded room and our eyes meet through the hustle and bustle especially when on set and the whole camera crew is there along with the director and everyone else. I smile to myself thinking about all of this as I take a deep breath and decide to see where she went or if she's ok.

I follow my heart as I walk up to holding room where she closed the door quickly. My heart pounds in my chest as I lift my hand to knock. I hold my breath and look around, and no one seems to notice. I slowly blow out my breath and knock, "Love, it's me...let me in!" She opens the door, and I see that smile, yet she seems a bit off. I smile back as she greets me as "Mrs. Adams Foster," and I wink and reach up to kiss her cheek, "Hi, back, Mrs. Adams Foster!" I hear her breath catch….maybe I have an active imagination...or not as she grabs both of my arms and shuts the door quickly and pushes me against it. I feel my face flush with anticipation, "Wha..what's….." I don't get to finish my sentence as I feel her lips on mine, and this time it's different. There are no cameras...no lights...no, "Action!" or even "Cut!" being yelled...just silence, except for the sounds of soft moans as our kiss deepens. Her tongue softly grazes my bottom lip asking for permission and the next thing I know my hands are running down her back, I'm tangling my fingers in her hair, she is pressing her body against mine, all time is lost as the kiss becomes heated….then she pulls away leaving me breathless as I smooth my dress and run my hand over my hair. She looks at me like a deer in headlights, and I look at her wishing I could say something. I wish I could tell her it's ok. But my words are stuck in my throat...

~Teri's POV~

She smiles, then leans in and kisses my cheek. In that moment my heart stops. My breath catches, and I can tell she notices. Suddenly time stands still, I hear my heart racing and my breathing becomes louder. I feel like I'm about to scream or explode; so, I do the only thing I know to do... I grab her arms and push her against the door. I take a breath and look in her eyes and then just go for it. My lips crash against hers. My mind races with thoughts of how different this is. There is no one directing me telling me where to put my hands or to tilt my head a certain way. It's just us. We flirt shamelessly with each other, but I'm still surprised when she returns my kiss and I feel her hands run down my back. I slide my tongue over her bottom lip silently asking for permission to deepen the kiss. What she does next makes me weak at the knees. She moans softly and grabs my hair as she opens her mouth and our tongues meet. I let out a soft moan, and I press my body against hers and things become heated. The room is filled with quiet moans and heavy breathing as we make out like teenagers against the door. The past year plays like a movie in my head. Flashes of us first meeting. Me shaking her hand for an awkwardly long amount of time. The first time we had to do a kissing scene and we were going to practice in my trailer because we were too nervous. The time we were in DC, and I got wasted, and she took me to my hotel room and stayed with me all night. These things flash through my mind as I moan and my body begs for more. Then it happens...I second guess myself. There is a reason we haven't done this before. She. Is. Married. I gasp as I pull away and take a step back. I put my hand over my mouth and whisper, "Fuck... I'm sorry!" She shakes her head, and I hear her say, "It's fine... things happen. I'll see you out there." As I see her turn around, I reach for her, but it's too late... she's gone.

The second she leaves, my heart aches. Why? I ask myself. Why did you pull away? I don't know what to do now. The party hasn't even started. How am I suppose to look her in the eyes after I clearly crossed the line? But she didn't pull away... She kissed back. Was she ok with it? Did she want more? So many questions run through my mind as I stand in the middle of the room still in shock. I clear my throat and take a deep breath. I need to just go out there and have a good time with everyone. But first, I need a drink! I open the door and head to the set where I hear music playing and everyone having a good time. I walk up to the bar and get a glass of white wine. I turn around to scope out the room, and there she is...in the middle of the backyard set, wine in one hand the other hand waving above her head as her hips sway. God, this woman loves to dance. She spots me watching her and smiles, then winks at me, and suddenly I feel like everything will be ok. I smile back and start walking towards her on the dance floor.


	3. Chapter 3

***WARNING: Explicit Content***

_***CHAPTER THREE***_

**~Sherri's POV~**

I basically run towards the party and festivities trying to forget what just happened, for if I dwell on it for too long, I might decide that it would be ok to go further with her. But I kissed her back...Teri Polo! What was I thinking? Wait! She kissed me first, and of course, it wasn't scripted or for any photo shoots. I touch my lips and blush remembering as I order a white wine from the bar and head to the dance floor with some of the cast and crew. I down my first glass and quickly order another before getting into the mood of the evening. I start to relax and really begin to be myself again. The wine helps me become more brave as I order another and another...I'm out dancing on the floor as Teri comes up behind me, startling me in this little world I was creating.

"You sure look sexy when you move like that, love," she whispers in my ear from behind as she places her hands on my hips. No one really thinks anything of this as we are constantly together anyway and whispering. I giggle as I turn to look at her, and she winks at me with that magical look that instantly takes my breath away. _Stay calm, Sherri...don't lose your cool now. Play like nothing happened because she can NOT know how badly you want to slam her against a wall, and…._ the music stops and a slow song begins to play ending my thought as she whirls me around to face her. I again giggle that nervous giggle I'm always giggling with her as she presses herself very close to me. Our fingers connect as she places her forehead against mine and smiles that smile before we strategically place our hands on and around each other for this slow dance.

I find myself struggling to breathe. Between the four glasses of wine and the nearness of her body, I wonder what she must be thinking, and then I look up into her eyes and I know. I tighten my lips as if to keep all that I am thinking sealed tightly behind them, and I swallow. But she's too smart and too fast as she pulls me even closer while laying her head on my shoulder and moaning softly, "You have no idea what you do to me, do you, love?"

**~Teri's POV~**

I've had several glasses of wine and at this point, so, I'm pretty buzzed. My arms are around her, and my heart is beating so hard I think it may explode. I lean in and whisper in her ear asking her if she knows what she does to me? Does she know what effect she has over my mind and body? I hear her breath catch, and her hand moves to the back of my neck as she whispers so softly I barely hear, "Same thing you do to me." My hands that have rested on her hips now trail up her back, and I don't think we could press our bodies any closer.

We stay like this till the end of the song, and then they start to play a fast song. I pull back a little and laugh. "Well you know I can't dance, so I think I'll grab another drink and chat with a few people," I tell her as her grip on my hand tightens but then she lets go. I kiss her on the cheek coming very close to the side of her mouth, and I can't help the soft moan that escapes me. When I moan she grabs my arm and pulls me to her again. I smile as she turns her back towards me and starts dancing to the music as her body grinds against mine.

My hands find her hips, and she leans her head back onto my shoulder as she sways and grinds and drives me insane. I moan in her ear, and I see her smile. I spin her around to face me again, and she starts grinding my front which really makes me crazy. I nuzzle my head into the side of her neck, and I moan softly as I flick my tongue over her earlobe, which causes a deep moan to come from her and I smile. I then whisper, "Is Kamar picking you up in a bit?"

**~Sherri's POV~**

By now I don't seem to care if anyone sees, or if I'm being too brazen with her. She clearly is feeling the same way, and I go back to my flirtatious ways seeing and knowing that it drives her as insane as it does myself. I moan softly for only her to hear, "No, he isn't. In fact, he's out of town or he would've come to the party as well…." I trail off waiting for a response. What she does next takes my breath away briefly as I try and breathe. She places a soft kiss on the nape of my neck and mumbles, "Come with me then." I continue to dance not daring to move as she continues the small kisses before pulling back and brushing the hair away from my face and winking before continuing in a low hum for only me, "You know what you want, and so do I...let's go somewhere."

My breath catches as I nod and quickly go and grab my little purse before following her away from the crowd and into the night. When we are far enough away, she grabs my hand and pulls me behind one of the trailers and pushes me against the siding while brushing the hair from my face, "God, you're so beautiful…"she murmurs before cupping my face with one hand and planting her lips against mine. I find myself closing my eyes and returning her kiss while placing my hands on her perfect hips. She then pulls away and practically drags me to the trailer we share out on the lot. I flush before saying in a shrill voice, "Here? What if…." to which I'm interrupted by her loud, "Shhh, just follow me…" My heart pounds in my chest as she closes the door and locks it before walking me to the back where our couch was.

I begin to feel awkward until she turns to look at me while she starts to unbutton her blouse while keeping eye contact. My fingers nervously start to undo the zipper in the back of my dress, and before I know it we are both standing there in only our bras and panties.I see the desire in her eyes as she motions me closer, then grabs my wrist rather suddenly, pulling me against her warm body and kissing me roughly.

**~Teri's POV~**

I don't know what's come over me. This desire is driving me insane, and all I care about tonight is being with her... all of her. I walk to the back room where there is a couch, and I quickly strip down as I keep eye contact with her. My body is going crazy. My heart is beating so loudly I think she can probably hear it from across the room. I look at her and smile softly as I whisper, "Come here.." She walks closer to me and puts her hands up to cup my cheeks. I grab her wrist and hold her hands a few inches off of me so she can't touch me. I then kiss her roughly and thrust my tongue into her mouth, and we both moan loudly.

We kiss like this for a few minutes, and the heat begins rising between us. I trail my lips down her neck, and she tilts her head back and moans softly. I whisper against her neck, "Are.. you sure?" Then I feel her nod, and she breaks her hands from my grip and pushes me back onto the couch. I sit and she straddles me and cups my face as we continue to kiss and moan. The room is filled with us moaning and breathing heavy. Small gasps escape our lips as we realize how long we have wanted this.

My hand reaches around and unhooks her bra, and I moan as it falls to the floor and I admire her beauty. "Love.. You are so incredibly beautiful," I manage to say before kissing her from her neck down to her nipple where I lightly suck and flick as she starts to shake slightly from the intense feeling. I feel her start to slowly grind her hips against mine. I moan and move so we are laying on the couch, her on bottom,and I sit on my knees and unhook my bra letting it fall off. Her hands roam upward from my thighs to my stomach, and I tilt my head back and let her worship my body. I've waited for her touch for so long! She feels amazing, and in this moment I feel as if I'm complete.

**~Sherri's POV~**

In this moment, I am alive...her curves, her skin, her softness beneath my touch: all sends electricity coursing through my entire body and spreading through my fingertips as I caress her perfect breasts. Soft moans sound through my lips as she plants her body between my legs. I don't even want to think. If this is a dream, I don't want to wake up. She slides her body up mine as her face comes within inches of mine, looking me deeply in the eyes and her hands explore my curves, down my sides, to my thigh, then her one hand touches the hotness of my center. My brain explodes during this moment as I call out her name over and over and she moans into my ear, "God, you're beautiful….Sherri, oh my God, what you do to me…"

I run my fingers down her back softly as she begins to rub me, slowly at first, keeping eye contact. I whimper as my grip tightens, and she becomes alive with hunger for my body. I tilt my head as her lips kiss softly down my neck, and I raise my hips as I feel her fingers shove into me, filling my center with their fullness. "Jesus, fuck!" I call out over and over as she begins to suck on my shoulder and her thrusting intensifies. I wrap my legs around her body embracing her body with mine...we fit each other like a glove, and I never want this moment to end.

**~Teri's POV~**

The second my fingers enter her, I moan. She feels so good. I feel like I could do this all night. She raises her hips as I thrust in and out of her. Her hand travels down my body, and she begins to rub me too. She moans between breaths, "I.. I need to touch you! Fuck Teri!" I move so she is able to slip 2 fingers into me, and I moan loudly basically screaming her name. We set a pace and grind against each other's hands as we finally give ourselves to each other. She is mine and I am hers. Completely. It doesn't take long for us to start shaking. I feel her walls tighten around my fingers and the moan that escapes her lips is enough to make my walls tighten as well. I put my forehead on hers as we both breathe heavily and scream each other's names as we release at the same time.

We stay just like this for what seems like an hour before I slowly pull my fingers from her and she does the same. Our eyes lock, and I softly kiss her lips and jaw line. I lean in and whisper in her ear, "I love you.." She cups my face so I have to look in her eyes and after a moment replies "I love you too," which sends a shiver down my body and a tear down my cheek. We kiss slowly now. Savoring this moment. Realizing it's been a year that we have held these emotions in. We make love four more times before falling asleep in each other's arms at around 3 a.m.

I wake up suddenly, and Sherri isn't on the couch with me. I get up and grab my underwear putting them on as I walk into the front of the trailer, and she isn't there either. I grab my phone, and it says 7 a.m. I click on her contact name and dial her number and it just goes to voicemail. Why would she leave? She left without even saying goodbye. She made love to me all night then snuck out the next morning. I suddenly feel sick to my stomach and run to the bathroom before getting sick.


	4. Chapter 4

*CHAPTER FOUR*

~Sherri's POV~

It's 6 a.m….I wake up with a start, and look over at her sleeping next to me. Her arm is around me as I lay here on my back. I squint my eyes and look around and remember: last night. My heart begins to pound as I notice the make-shift bed we had made just hours before right here by the couch. I close my eyes and will myself to keep breathing as a slow pound begins to throb in my temples. My stomach does multiple flips, but it's not because I have butterflies. Instead, it signals that I drank way too much, and if I don't move soon, I will be sick all over me and her. I manage to move her arm before running across the trailer to the bathroom where I am sick.

I wash my face and brush my teeth before facing myself in the mirror where I again feel that sea-sick feeling in the pit of my stomach as the throbbing in my temples worsen. I feel a tightness rise up in my throat as the room begins to spin, and I barely make it to be sick again. This time, I know I have to leave...I have to get out of here before she wakes up. Before she smiles that smile my way and I lose all resolve. I tip-toe as quietly as I can to my closet and pull out a pair of shorts and a tee while grabbing flip-flops as I yank up my hair and grab my purse and phone. I turn to look at her as she peacefully sleeps there, and my heart melts but I can't allow this to stop what I am feeling right now: FEAR. I quickly make it to my car and make it home where I barely make it up the drive before being sick in the bushes. By this time, my phone begins to ring and I'm on the porch crying my eyes out. I pull out my phone just in time to see a missed call from Teri. I throw my phone back into my purse and barely stumble through the door before making it to my bedroom. My phone rings again,and this time I throw it across the rom before falling into my bed, half-dressed as I cry myself to sleep.

~Teri's POV~

I hang up my phone and take a deep breath. I feel so sick to my stomach, but I push that aside. Why would she do this? I know we were drunk but not that drunk. We both knew what we were doing. She had plenty of time to stop last night. I don't know if I should feel mad or sad. I just know I have to talk to her! I grab a hoodie out of the closet and throw it on with some jeans. I quickly brush my teeth and pull my hair up in a messy bun on top of my head. I grab my keys and run out of the trailer and to my car. When I get in the car I grab my phone again and text her. Im on my way over.. We need to talk!

I start the car and drive a little too quickly to her house. I swear I hit every red light from the studio to her place. My mind was racing. What was I suppose to say? Im sorry we fucked all night, and you cheated on your husband but im in love with you? Or do I get mad that now I feel like last night meant nothing to her because she just up and left this morning without a word? My emotions are so tangled, and I don't know how I feel. I really don't have that much time to figure it out because I pull up in her driveway and notice the front door is cracked open. I get out of the car and walk up to the door "Sherri?!" I call out. Leo runs up to me and I bend down and pet him "Hey big boy, where's mama huh?" I stand up again and head upstairs. I walk into the bedroom, and I hear her sniffling in the bathroom. I had every intention of walking in the house and yelling at her. Telling her how mad I was that she just took off. But as I walk into the bathroom I see her leaning over the toilet throwing up and crying. I kneel down beside her and put my hand on her back. I whisper and brush her hair out of her face "I'm sorry... I'm so sorry love..."

~Sherri's POV~

I try to get up when she enters the bathroom to brush my hair out of my face. I attempt to wash my face and brush my teeth before turning to her, "Please…" I whimper softly. "I can't have you here…" I trail off before she grabs me by my arms and makes me face her. I look away but she places her fingers under my chin and makes me look into her eyes which automatically sends tears running down my face. "What's going on, Sherri?" she whispers to me, and I see a deep sadness boring a hole straight to my heart. _ I just can't do this….I'm hurting her. I'm hurting myself! What were we thinking? We have to work together, and we were so very very foolish last night…._My thoughts are interrupted by her pulling me against her. I hear her heartbeat thudding in my ears, and I stifle back a sob as she smoothes my hair, "Shhhhh, love, don't cry. I'm here."

We stay this way for a bit before I manage to pull away from her and exit the bathroom towards my bed yet again and repeat what I said earlier in my head to her face, "I..I can't..we shouldn't..I've got to sleep…" I fail miserably at this point, and I can see that she is becoming irritated with me. I never have a hard time communicating with her. By now, in our friendship, we can talk about everything; so, she must want to shake me. She comes to my side of the bed and sits on the edge, looking down at me. "Is this what you really want, Sherri?" I can see the pain, the anger, the hurt, all of these emotions swirling around in her beautiful gray eyes as she clears her throat and licks her lips. I make eye contact for a bit before turning my back to her and burying my face in the pillow. I can feel her hand slightly run down my back as she quickly gets up. My sobs become louder as I hear my bedroom door shut. This must be what it feels like to die a slow and torturous death.

~Teri's POV~

I run my hand down her back as if hoping by my touch she will turn around and face me. Hoping she will grab me and tell me not to go, tell me that last night was amazing and that she never wants to let me go. But she does not do this. In fact I feel her tense slightly as i touch her which sends a sharp pain into my heart. I take a deep breath and stand up. I can't do this.. Im so mad and seeing her like this is breaking my heart. I walk out of the room and as I shut the door I hear her sob. I turn back towards the door and lean my forehead on it thinking if I should go back in. I close my eyes and take another deep breath and walk downstairs. I dig in my purse and pull out a small box and card. I had got Sherri a gift for the ending of season 1A. I wipe a tear off my cheek, and I set the gift on the kitchen counter where she will see it.

I left her house and drove home. It was so hard leaving her like that. But I know that what we did was wrong. I know she is married, and I know that she loves Kamar. But this thing between us can't be denied. I love her. I'm in love with her and after last night, I know she loves me too. I have to fight for her but I don't know how at this point. I get home and take a shower. I stand under the water for what seems like hours crying. My whole world feels like it's crashing around me. What did we do last night? I could lose her completely. I can't let that happen. I will fight for her. Once the water runs cold I get out of the shower and wrap a towel around me. I wipe my eyes that are now swollen and red and I grab my phone. I swipe to unlock it and smile as I see a photo collage of the kids and Sherri. The most important things in my life in one picture. I click her name and dial her number and pray she picks up.


	5. Chapter 5

*CHAPTER FIVE*

~Sherri's POV~

Off in the distance I hear a phone ringing, and it takes me a bit to realize it's probably mine. I groggily get out of bed and begin searching the room but not in time. I kneel in front of my bed in pure frustration and lean my head against the soft blanket which feels good on my pounding head, when my phone goes off again. I hear it close by and look under my bed just as it beeps one final time. I pull it out to see I have a missed call from you and a voicemail. I moan and decide to listen to the voicemail: Hey, Sherri, please don't ignore this. I think we really need to talk. I know you didn't feel well this morning so I left you alone, but baby, we have to face each other eventually and figure this thing out. I love you, and that's not going away anytime soon...

I let the phone fall out of my hand as I hear the final words, "I love you, and that's not going away anytime soon." Tears begin to fall from my eyes, and I wonder how in the world I am going to break her heart. We can't do this...not now...probably not ever. The facts are simple in my mind. We care for each other, and we were stinkin' drunk last night, on wine and the episode we just finished.

I pick up my phone and text her back. Hey, just got your voicemail. Yes, we should talk. Just as soon as I send it she replies. My place, this afternoon, no kids. My heart about jumps out of my chest. Her kids must not be home, and when I break her heart, she'll be alone. I agonize over this as I shower and get ready to see her.

~Teri's POV~

I get her text and reply quickly. I ask her to come here so it will be private. I don't know where her head is at, and I don't plan on letting her go without a fight. I dry off and get dressed. I find myself putting on the perfume and lotion that she likes. I then straighten my hair because she likes it that way.

A few hours later I pace around the house waiting for her. The walls seem like they are closing in. I am so nervous and scared of losing her; plus, I keep getting flashbacks of last night. Everytime I close my eyes I see her above me, looking at me with so much love and desire. I hear her moans and whispers. I see her body trembling under my touch. That's it! I can't be in this house anymore! I need air! I go outside on the back porch and sit in the swing taking deep breaths holding one of the dogs. That's when I hear the car door. My heart speeds up, and I call out that i'm in the backyard. I hear the gate open and I see her.

She's wearing white shorts and a flowery blouse, her hair down and blowing in the fall wind. Her eyes are puffy, and I know she has been crying all day and my heart instantly breaks. I've hurt her. I've caused her pain, and that was the last thing that I wanted to do. When she sees me on the swing I can tell her breath catches as she walks slowly to me and I stand up. As she gets closer the urge to touch her grows deeper. I reach out and pull her into a hug, and she crumbles into my arms as we both whisper at the same time... "Im sorry."

~Sherri's POV~

I bury my face against her and breathe her in slowly. This is killing me right now, and I feel so torn because when I am alone, it all seems clear. Yet, when I am in her presence I can't seem to focus on what needs to be done. I can tell she is about to kiss me as she cups my cheek; so, I instantly pull back and ask if we can just sit and talk. I can tell she is a bit frustrated, and I become annoyed that she can't see what the right thing to do is.

I sit across from her on the swing and nervously play with my shorts. I can't bring myself to look at her as my words come out fast, "It seems apparent that what happened last night should just be forgotten, and we should go on as if nothing happened. It was a...a mistake."

She instantly tenses up and clenches her jaw. I know this look, and it's always her trying to not say something mean or hurtful. I snap, "Just say it, Teri! Don't hold back! You said you wanted to talk..that we should talk!" My eyes are fierce, and the annoyance can be heard in my voice. She stands and starts to pace her porch, fists clenched as her voice raises, "Forget last night? That's all you got! Because I gotta tell ya, we both know that's not going to happen!"

She stops in front me and I can feel the rage in her body. I can't look at her. I can't do this. Something has to give, but I also can't tell her. It'll kill her. I stand to stare her down, eye to eye, "Can't we just go back to where we were? Best friends, co-workers..."

~Teri's POV~

She looks in my eyes and my heart is pounding. She says she wants to be best friends and co-workers. My eyes sting with tears as my heart breaks into a million pieces. I look her right in the eyes and say between clenched teeth, "I can't hide behind the show anymore... I love you, and I know you love me too!"

Once I say this she turns her back to me so I can't see her reaction. She doesn't want me to see her eyes because she knows I can read her like a book. I know her better than anyone does. Even her husband doesn't understand her the way I do. I reach out and run my fingers down her back. My emotions are all over the place. Im mad, but I just need to make her see that we can work this out some how.

She relaxes for a moment at my touch then tenses up. "Sherri.." I whisper softly, "Please don't do this. You are scared. You are scared and the only thing you know to do is try to push last night away and pretend it never happened."

I see her shoulders shake a little, and I know she is crying. My first instinct is to wrap my arms around her, and that's what I do. I grab her from behind, and I bury my face in her neck as I whisper how much I love her.

~Sherri's POV~

I feel her arms around me, and I stiffen at first until she begins to whisper how much she loves me. I feel myself melt into her, and a soft moan escapes my lips. I don't realize this until I feel her kissing my neck. I snap back to reality and instantly pull away and turn to her.

"This can't happen! Not now anyways!" I wipe my eyes as I continue to look at her. "Maybe we shouldn't see each other until we go back to work..." I trail off as I see her frown. She begins to argue, "Why? You don't make sense to me right now! You're body language is saying something completely different than your actual words!"

I am instantly upset as I snap, "You're only seeing what you want to see. Don't make things up in your pretty little head, Teri!" She walks within inches of me before quietly saying, "Go.." I am confused as I stare back, "Wh..What?" She backs up as she repeats, "Go!" more firmly, "Go, because the longer you look at me that way, the closer I am to pulling you into my arms and kissing you!"

I stare her down almost daring her to kiss me, and as she walks closer I turn and walk off the porch and towards my car. As I get in, I can hear her crying in the distance, and I begin to bawl like a baby as I drive off. I can't go home like this; so, I decide to go to the beach and sit in our favorite spot. I sit there for what seems like hours and just cry.

~Teri's POV~

She is testing me. She stares at me as if she wants me to kiss her; so, I take a step towards her and just as I reach out to touch her she pulls away and quickly disappears out the back gate. This is the second time today that she has run from me, and I can't bring myself to chase after her this time. She clearly has made up her mind.

I feel myself lose it, and I slink down onto the swing as I cry out and sob. I bury my head in my hands, and everything I've been trying to hold in all day spews out. My world is spinning out of control. In one day, I lost the most important person in my life. It's strange how one year changes everything. How one smile, one look, one laugh changed my world forever. But it did, and now I'm crying hysterically on my back porch because she walked away from me. Again.

After about an hour I make myself get up and go inside. I calm myself down enough to call the kids and check up on them. Afterwards, I strip and crawl into bed. I guess I have no tears left because I just lay there staring at the ceiling scared to close my eyes. Because once I do I know memories of last night will play like a movie in my mind. I will see her face, and it will hurt even more. So, I just lay there in the quietness of my room and pray that somehow we will be able to figure this out.


End file.
